Finding the courage to change your path

[Daro]

Figured I might find a solution to my problem here, or at least people in the same situation.

I'm currently 23 years old and have a (university) B.Sc degree in biomedical sciences. I was always very interested in molecular biology and DNA and the "building blocks of life" and that kind of stuff. One day, I wanted to get a job in this field, as a researcher. And I was ready to put a lot of work in it. I had some trouble keeping up, but in the end I usually got sufficient grades. And not all courses were that bad, it was just some periods during my curriculum. I did end up sitting home with stress related problems though. One time because my program allowed it, and again when they were way more severe when I had to retreat from all the stress immediatly. No problem, they said. We'll tailor a program tied to your abilities. Until one day during a masters traineeship after I had recovered from the more severe stress related problems, everything went horribly wrong and my dream was shattered into a thousand pieces. Reality calls! Basically, they said I will not be able to finish the masters program.

Needless to say, having your dream shattered in pieces kickstarts a quarterlife crisis, which is why I am here. I'm currently looking for a job in the field where a B.Sc degree is sufficient, but the job market in my country hasn't fully adapted to the new Bachelor/Master system as of yet. I can keep on dreaming it seems. I did get a chance somewhere, but I wasn't really tailored for the job so I got fired almost immediatly. I get rejected for lacking job experience a lot. The economic crisis only adds insult to injury since they usually seem able to get someone with more job experience. And getting a lowly job? Forget it, they reject me because they think I'm too smart for that.

Now for the part where you guys might come in. I have a very hard time acknowledging all this has happened. All the work... just for nothing? A lot of pain and no gain so far. I don't really dare to try something different for fear that the same thing might happen again. I realize that I just have to try things out, but... well... there's this emotional thing that keeps me in check. But since a lot of people facing quarterlife crisis seem to do exactly that, I wonder I might get insights about the how, and the why of trying things out. How to remove the emotional blockade. That's basically the question. Any idea's? And even if I would go back to school, then there's a financial situation keeping me from doing this.

I did try professional counselling but they just seem to point to each other. I also have a fear of them saying what I just don't want to hear: you're not tailored for this work and you should start over.

[Mini14]

Just curious, you mentioned the job market in your country - just wondering what country that is?

Also just wondering what happened on that day that you had to leave the Masters program - no worries if you don't want to give too many details, I just thought it might make things a bit clearer to anyone reading.

Is your stress related to working in biomedical sciences specifically? Or is it more general?

[Daro]

I'm living in NL. The problem is maybe not exactly the jobmarket itself, but the fact that we have 2 kinds of bachelors. We have the practical ones and the more theoretical ones. Employers usually prefer the practical ones, but I have the theoretical degree.

The stress seems to be a more general thing, probably related to me being sub-assertive where assertive reaction is required. This did improve a lot when I found out this was a part of the problem. I mainly improved this by selfstudy and practicing in daily situations.

I can't give too many details on what happened. I could write a book about it since it is a very complex situation. Perhaps starting clean elsewhere could be an option, but I'm a bit afraid that history might repeat itself.