Generic Thread, Part Two - Page 31

PenforPrez · #**451** 11-05-2009, 09:28 AM

You know your favorite NFL team is in trouble when your bye week comes up and you still wonder who you're going to lose to. People here are saying the one good thing about the Rams bye week this week is that we won't pick up another loss.

I said to one guy last night, "Don't count on it!" The Rams are so bad that I figure we'll pick up an L on our bye week anyway.

But we beat Detroit. No 0-16 this season! Woohoo!

Paul

astronaut83 · #**452** 11-05-2009, 11:20 AM

I woke up this morning and found the kitchen shears missing. I got paranoid and made sure I wasn't missing anything on me, but I forgot that my husband was using it on his bike for something last night.

If you saw Antichrist, you'd understand.

Edit: Found them.

astronaut83 · #**453** 11-05-2009, 12:21 PM

Martha Stewart is doing a cheese show. I can probably polish off that whole cheese plate in no time.

PenforPrez · #**454** 11-05-2009, 10:04 PM

I never wanted to do this. I never wanted to peddle wigs all day for a pack of abusive idiots.

I wanted to be. . . A LUMBERJACK!!!

http://www.youtube.com/user/montypyt.../9/PpxQp3Hy5nk

Paul

PenforPrez · #**455** 11-06-2009, 11:28 PM

I just sent one of the weirdest texts ever.

This evening, a friend called me that I had not heard from in over a year. Turns out she'd called and emailed and I never got her messages.

Anyway, some time ago, we did a porn party at her house with a group of friends where we had some dinner and watched a bunch of bad porn and generally criticized the actors, their techniques, etc. Good times!

I had brought some more peculiar titles from my collection for her perusal, as she had expressed curiosity.

Well, I forgot about them, and we had lost touch by the time I remembered. So we talked tonight, and we're meeting with a group of friends tomorrow. I forgot about it on the phone, so I texted her.

I texted, "Oh I forgot. You still have some of my porn. Can you bring it tomorrow?"

Her response, "Do I really?"

Too funny!

Paul

ebruening · #**456** 11-07-2009, 04:50 PM

I am ENRAGED at our state government's fiscal irresponsibility. Seriously - our governor wrote a letter this past summer basically telling all the school boards to use the federal stimulus money to increase teacher salaries and now guess what? They're going to hack the state aid to education to BITS for the next TWO YEARS because the government can't manage their money

Seriously, I have ZERO respect for our governor

PenforPrez · #**457** 11-09-2009, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ebruening

I am ENRAGED at our state government's fiscal irresponsibility. Seriously - our governor wrote a letter this past summer basically telling all the school boards to use the federal stimulus money to increase teacher salaries and now guess what? They're going to hack the state aid to education to BITS for the next TWO YEARS because the government can't manage their money

Seriously, I have ZERO respect for our governor

Could be worse. Could be the previous governor of Missouri, who abolished all funding for contraception out of the state budget to appease the Christian right-wingers who elected him. Which has not yet been restored in the budget, and probably won't this year, even though we now have a Democratic governor. We can't let women have reproductive options; no, that's no good.

We just had to cut our budget about $200 million, but state leaders refused to cut any direct funding for education. Finally, we get SOMETHING right in this state!

Paul

PenforPrez · #**458** 11-19-2009, 11:09 PM

So I found out that country music legend George Jones is going to do a show in St. Louis--on Saturday when I can't go!

Not that I could really afford to go anyway.

Paul

PenforPrez · #**459** 11-24-2009, 09:20 PM

Yay! Albert Pujols was the unanimous pick for National League MVP!!

Why did they even vote this year? Albert did more this season than any two other baseball players put together. I don't give a damn how high Joe Mauer's batting average was--Albert still beats his ass! They didn't need to vote on it; they just needed to give Pujols the award.

Here's what I don't understand. Albert Pujols is going to make $16 million from the Cardinals next year. But they're only giving him a bonus of $200,000 for being MVP. What the. . . ? $200,000 for being the best player in the National League? That's all? Somebody in the Cardinals front office needs to rethink this. Especially if we want to resign Albert after 2011.

Now if I just find the idiots who said that Tim Lincecum was a better pitcher all year than Chris Carpenter or Adam Wainwright. No he was not!

Paul

hoodie · #**460** 11-25-2009, 03:23 PM

Cards. Poo-holes. Eh. GO BLACKHAWKS!

astronaut83 · #**461** 11-27-2009, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hoodie

Cards. Poo-holes. Eh.

Better than the Cubs.

PenforPrez · #**462** 11-29-2009, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hoodie

Cards. Poo-holes. Eh. GO BLACKHAWKS!

This reminds me of a funny story. A couple of years ago, I was at a show here where they interviewing an executive with a group that promotes sports in St. Louis. The host asked him, "Is there an athlete with a more unfortunate name than Albert 'Poo-holes?'"

I knew exactly what he was going to say and I was right.

"Well, there was a racecar driver from Wisconsin named Dick Trickle. . . ."

Dick Trickle actually holds the Guiness record for being the winningest racer in American history.

Paul

PenforPrez · #**463** 11-29-2009, 06:12 PM

I really need a haircut. If I get any shaggier, the city will probably require me to get a dog tag.

*My name is Paul. If you find me, please return me to this address.*

The plan was to get a haircut in my hometown while I was visiting my parents for Thanksgiving. There's a very nice old man in my hometown who cuts hair; he's about 70 or 75 and cut hair in the army. He cuts your hair AND shaves the back of your neck for $8. Great Clips cuts my hair and leaves my neck shaggy for 15 bucks!

Well, the plan was to go to the elderly barber. But I got to my parents' house last week, only to find out that either the barber or the barber's son got caught with drugs, and it was unclear if the barber shop was even still operating. Sheesh! Small town life is not what it used to be.

Paul

PenforPrez · #**464** 12-03-2009, 08:23 PM

Does anybody give THAT much of a shit about Tiger Woods? Seriously??

hoodie · #**465** 12-04-2009, 12:03 PM

It's just rubbernecking. Everybody loves a scandal. Someone else in Hollywood will implode and they'll forget all about it. Letterman and the White House crashers are probably glad the public eye is on Tiger right now!

Also, re: unfortunate names in sports, I think former Chicago Bear Dick Butkus is up there too!