Is Having No Friends that Bad

[astronaut83]

Originally Posted by winneythepooh7

Wait till some of you have kids. That really cuts down on any kind of social life you might have .

...or sacrifice the social life of a younger sibling by making them the designated baby sitter. (it's happened to me)

[winneythepooh7]

Originally Posted by astronaut83

...or sacrifice the social life of a younger sibling by making them the designated baby sitter. (it's happened to me)

My younger sibling lives more than 2 hours away, and comes down about once a month to help out. My husband's younger sibling has twins of her own, and the other one is in school F/T and already helps out sometimes during the week when my son is at my inlaws. It's not really a big issue though for me because I actually prefer to be home with my son during my free time vs. out meeting new people.

I guess though others do stop asking you to hang out if you have kids because they assume you won't be interested in general. I am a F/T working mother so I don't identify with the "stay at home mommies" who have a ton of time to plan events for their kids so they can also socialize with each other during the week. I was actually taken off a few Meetup.com groups for mothers because I didn't respond to an event within a couple weeks time that I would attend. Reason being they all seem to be planned during the Monday-Friday 9-5 hour.

[Rage]

Originally Posted by gemma-dahl

Muhaha...so is your husband being a twat?

I AM the twat!

[wordsmith]

Originally Posted by winneythepooh7

Wait till some of you have kids. That really cuts down on any kind of social life you might have .

Being tied to a dog's schedule also takes a bite, I've found. At least if we had a baby, we could take it into restaurants and on planes and trains when we travel to visit family.

[winneythepooh7]

That's true, as well. I have 2 and it's a hassle if we want to even go out of town for a day trip because we need to arrange for someone to come over to let the dogs out. In the past when I just had one dog, I'd bring him with me to many places, but with two---well it's really too much.

Anyways, with kids, I usually don't go out before/after certain times because it's a PITA to take my son out during his "witching hours" when he needs to nap or go to bed for the night.

[steph78]

Originally Posted by winneythepooh7

I am a F/T working mother so I don't identify with the "stay at home mommies" who have a ton of time to plan events for their kids so they can also socialize with each other during the week. I was actually taken off a few Meetup.com groups for mothers because I didn't respond to an event within a couple weeks time that I would attend. Reason being they all seem to be planned during the Monday-Friday 9-5 hour.

You know, when I became a stay at home mom I really thought I'd have all this free time to do stuff like that, but that's not how it really works. I get out for a playdate MAYBE once a week. Like you said in your last post, with being tied at home during naptimes and all the other time you spend feeding/cleaning/grocery shopping etc. there isn't a TON of time for fun outings. And once your kid gets mobile, playdates consist of a lot less chatting between the moms and a lot more supervision of the kids. I WISH I spent the majority of the day enjoying a bunch of free time! As it is, I go a few days without speaking to any adults besides my husband and the grocery store cashier sometimes...

[wordsmith]

I find I really only have time at home when I'm ALONE at home. And that's just with my SO and our pet.

Were we parents, I have no doubt that nothing not related to care would get done. Of course, I grew up in a household with a SAHM raising 4 kids full-time and doing virtually all tasks related to the household, so I definitely have very vivid memories of her being exhausted and worked to the bone pretty much all the time trying to manage the household and being the primary person doing the parenting. Definitely no free time for bon bons. Not even really free time to eat a meal sitting down.

[winneythepooh7]

Originally Posted by steph78

You know, when I became a stay at home mom I really thought I'd have all this free time to do stuff like that, but that's not how it really works. I get out for a playdate MAYBE once a week. Like you said in your last post, with being tied at home during naptimes and all the other time you spend feeding/cleaning/grocery shopping etc. there isn't a TON of time for fun outings. And once your kid gets mobile, playdates consist of a lot less chatting between the moms and a lot more supervision of the kids. I WISH I spent the majority of the day enjoying a bunch of free time! As it is, I go a few days without speaking to any adults besides my husband and the grocery store cashier sometimes...

My point is not to say that being a SAHM is all roses and sunshine. I was just trying to say that it's even that much harder to get out and socialize when you also work F/T. Fortunately, I enjoy my job and can socialize a lot there. I know some SAHMs though and they certainly live more of a life of leisure then I do. Just sayin'.

[pisces2473]

Yeah, my college roomie is a SAHM w/ a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old, and I never know when to call her, because when I'm free, it's the kids' bedtimes and I'm sure she heads to bed herself shortly after the kids do!

Like Words, it's just me and the hubs and 3 cats, but I'm only alone when I'm really alone (when the hubs is working). But today is Saturday and I have so many chores to get done, I don't know how I'd do it with a baby or a few older kids running around. Granted we did just move, so the chores are bigger (cleaning all the baseboards and light fixtures--fun times!) but I know that by the time my husband comes home from work at 6, I'll be exhausted.

I also think I work harder at home than I do at work--something I've heard working moms say before...and I don't even have kids yet!!! Which is a little scary. My job is more mentally taxing since I work in marketing at a desk all day. When I come home, I'd much rather clean or do laundry, since I'm up and moving. My husband is the opposite--he works in alternate incarceration, so he's on his feet all day, tracking down clients, interviewing, on the phone, etc. When he comes home, he just wants to crash.

[AznHisoka]

I find that friends are always undervalued when things are going good in your life. At times of adversities such as a family death, a breakup/divorce, or layoff, friends prove to be invaluable.